It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
