a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
