Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
