he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
