I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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