i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
