i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
