I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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