Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
