Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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