You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
