I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
