Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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