He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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