Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the raccoons are back...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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