508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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