Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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