Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
