the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
be right there i have to get my cape
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
