Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
