the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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