She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
