Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
