You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woke up backwards on a recliner
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize