Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
