he told me I talked like a deaf person
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
