Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize