I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
