help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
