I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
