saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he fucked my hip out of place.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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