The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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