help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
