No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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