Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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