at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
