I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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