found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize