better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
