then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
