When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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