is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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