Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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