Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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