Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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