remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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