Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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