Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
