i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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