I think I died a long time ago.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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