somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
