Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
