i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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