it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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