I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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