And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My cat gives me a boner
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
