if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
